Final Reflections

As my final days in APU came to a close, I had some time to reflect on this whole experience I had been through. Had you asked me six months ago how this exchange would impact me, I would tell you that it would help me become better at Japanese and that's about it. I didn't really expect much more from the program besides that. I realize now though that this exchange has been a journey that has completely changed who I am as a person. This exchange was full of many trials and tribulations, some good and some bad. From class struggles to personal relationships, each situation provided an opportunity for me to either sink or swim. 

When you go into an exchange like this, where you often find yourself in new predicaments, you find out just how strong you are. There were some days on this exchange when I didn't want to get out of bed or leave my room. I'd regret coming to Japan and wish I had stayed in Atlanta. But, I battled through it. I found the things that made me happy which is something I hadn't always done in the past. As a people pleaser, I always put everyone before myself. When I started doing things because I wanted to, I found a new happiness that I hadn't really felt before. 

As the exchange went on, I was also able to take a step back from my life at Tech and evaluate where I was in life. I have control problems and I'm not afraid to admit it; but, when there are so many things that are not in your control, you learn to just roll with the punches. I found that when I gave up some control, I actually did better in classes and it was much easier to relax. I was also able to take some time to look at the relationships I have with friends. It was difficult to turn to friends in Atlanta when I was struggling in Japan. I didn't feel like many of them could understand what I was going through. It was also easier to see peoples' true colors. 

In the end, I feel like as an individual, I have grown drastically through this process. I feel much more confident as a person and that is in part thanks to the friends at APU. I also realize that I am much stronger than when I originally got to APU and that I can accomplish many things when I put my mind through it. I never thought I'd feel comfortable speaking Japanese but now that I've completed the program, I know that I can speak it without sounding completely stupid. I have also realized that sometimes there doesn't need to be an explanation for why things happen a certain way but rather just roll with the punches and take advantage of every opportunity presented to you. Finally, I decided that from now on, I'm going to focus more on my own wants and needs instead of always silencing them. Every person deserves to feel like they are worth it and that they are their absolute best.

Like I've said before to my friends back here at home, I have changed as a result of this exchange. I can't promise you that things will be the same as before but my goal is to stay true to myself and embrace the new person that I am. :)