Today I had an epiphany...one that I probably needed to have about a month ago lol. I'll get to that in a minute but let me give you some updates on the day :D. 

In approximately 1 week from tomorrow, I will be halfway through this quarter. It's hard to believe I have already been here 1 month. There has been a lot of ups and downs during this past month and I thank everyone who has been there to support me. Classes are starting to become more demanding and I'm continuing to work to find the perfect balance between work and leisure. I'm already starting to work on final projects and papers to make sure I don't fall behind lol :P. 

Yesterday and today was spent doing mostly homework. Most of my classes require readings (INTA problems) so that's fairly time consuming. I'm also trying to pay extra attention to my Japanese class. I'm really aiming for a "B" in the class. I also went to Mass today which is always interesting. The priest's English is still not so great but he tries really hard and I give him a lot of credit. I also finally went grocery shopping. I woke up this morning to realize I had no food for breakfast or lunch so that had to happen. I even went on a limb and bought this pasta/sauce combo that is in all Japanese but looks yummy. I hope to attempt to cook it this week sometime without burning down the whole building :). 

Anyway, back to the epiphany. Recently, I've found myself listening to a lot of new music. I find that music can find the words and strength that I need to get through anything. I've listened close to the lyrics and relate it back to what I'm going through. While I listen to the music, I usually break down and cry. I don't do it intentionally and I try to fight back the tears but it's better to let it out than bottle it up. As I've continued listening to music, I have looked at ways to better adapt to my current situation. I'm here for another 3 months and being this depressed isn't helping anyone. 

That's when I stumbled upon an interesting article. It talked about the way I had been looking at my current situation and how I needed to look at my situation. As you've seen through my blogs and through me talking, I've expressed how I'm not super happy being here and there are a lot of times when I wish I could be back home. Looking at studying abroad this way is depressing but also completely negative and I feel probably brings down most people I talk to about it. Instead of looking at it as I'm stuck here, I need and am going to start looking at it as I will soon be back. I will enjoy the time here while I have it but will look forward to the opportunity to be reunited with those I miss and care about. Thinking about this experience in a more positive light I feel will help me move forward but will also help those around me cope with me not being around. I'm going to try my best to look at the positive from now on. As a side note, I'm really sorry to anyone who has had to deal with my extreme negativity. Part of this experience is to help me grow and mature as an individual and sometimes, you have to learn things the hard way. Thank you for the continued support. I love and miss you all. :) <3